5.9.16: 11 weeks 1 day
Today is HUGE!
I graduated from my infertility doctor!
I have had many graduations in my life—high school, college, medical school, residency and fellowship. However, this one is by far the most desired and anticipated. I simply cannot believe this day has come.
I have been weaning off medications over the past couple of weeks, getting weekly ultrasounds and lab work drawn, and anxiously awaiting positive news. Today is the day that I am released to become a “normal” pregnant woman. I can now go to my OB/GYN for “routine” prenatal care. Everything has progressed beautifully, and I am starting to accept that this pregnant thing is finally happening for me.
…But I feel anything but “normal” or “routine”.
I am scared and anxious…
Anyone who has gone through infertility treatments and is fortunate to become pregnant knows that you become very attached to the staff and doctors who take care of you during such a strenuous and emotional process. Not only that, but the weekly visits with promising labs and a growing baby are very much needed. The reassurance that comes with actually seeing the gestational sac grow into a fetal pole, then a heartbeat, then an actual fetus that is moving with arms and legs is necessary to validate that you are actually pregnant! I have confirmation every week that there are two growing beings inside of me. I get ultrasound photos, I see the smile on my doctor’s and husband’s faces, I hear “Congratulations!” walking down the hall; it is real.
Now that I have graduated, I admit that I have some apprehension because I have to leave my REI family—many of whom I contacted regularly with questions, worries and then finally the good news. “Routine” prenatal care, although very much welcomed, means I no longer have that security blanket. I won’t be seen every week. I won’t get an ultrasound every week. I can’t call or message staff with every little question or concern. I just have to remind myself that the silver lining is that I made it this far. I am pregnant with twins and can now cross over to the world of being an expectant woman. Although I am scared, I am so thankful.
So today I graduate and move on to the next phase of my pregnancy. A part of me still can’t believe it. I suppose that part of me will always worry and second guess. My journey with infertility still isn’t over. I have a long way to go, but all I know is today was a good day.
I am pregnant with twins and need to schedule my new OB appointment 🙂