I became a full-fledged mommy at age 38. After having 6 miscarriages, I never thought I would get pregnant again, much less carry one full term. I had so many emotions. And I always seemed to have them all at once. I worried every day of having another miscarriage. I was excited that I was pregnant,though. I was anxious to watch myself and my baby grow. I wondered what my child would look like. I hoped there would be no problems. At the end of every day, I was thankful for the life I had growing inside of me.
We found out at 22 weeks of pregnancy that our son had an enlarged left kidney. Yes, I worried. But I knew as long as I could get him here, I would be happy. Anything after that, I could deal with. Nothing scared me more than the thought of loosing my unborn son after making it further into my pregnancy than I ever had before.
After all the doctors appointments, specialist appointments, stress and tears…it was time. I started having contractions on October 22nd. We went to the hospital, and I was induced. My dad came to be with me and my husband. He was a trooper. He stayed awake with me most of the night. By 8 am on the 23rd, I was still at 3cm, which is what I was when I arrived. So they broke my water and gave me an epidural. By 10:30 a.m. my doctor came in to tell me we were doing a cesarean section because my son’s heart rate was dropping every time I had a contraction. They got me ready, and at 11:01 a.m. my son arrived into this world. I cried as soon as I heard him cry. He was finally here.
Now here we are, almost 6 months later. I have to admit, even though I have taken care of other kids, having your own is completely different. Everything you thought you would never do, you are doing. I was scared. Even at 38, bringing home your newborn is scary. I was worried about everything I was doing. After a couple of weeks, though, I began to relax. I knew as long as I was doing the best I could, we would all be ok. My son was fed, clean and loved. That is all that mattered.
There is a few things that being an older mother has taught me…
Patience. Even though I had a lot of patience before, when you have a child later on in life, you find you gain a lot more. You are so amazed and in love with this blessing you have that you begin to let the small things go. The sleepless nights and being spit up on and peed on. The countless outfit changes and dirty diapers. It all just seems to disappear when you look at that child.
I am also very grateful. All of those little things that you see in your child become big memories starting from the time you find out you are pregnant. Being an older parent, you find yourself cherishing those moments even more.
I used to dread the holidays. All of them. But now, they have a new meaning. Those crazy functions where they have Santa and the Easter Bunny that you would avoid, you now go to. You take all of those moments in. I can’t imagine my life now without my child in it.
There is really something about being an older mom that is just life changing. Heart and soul changing. Yes, I had 6 other pregnancies, and I wish they would have all made it, but I could not imagine being a mom before now.
“ It’s not the breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away.” – George Strait