Choosing Donor Conception

Like many people trying to have a baby in their early 40’s, our journey involved some unexpected twists and turns. We went through multiple IUI and IVF cycles and unsuccessful attempts with multiple egg donors. At our doctor’s recommendation, we ultimately decided to fertilize half of our donor eggs with our own sperm and half with donor sperm. After nearly 4 years of trying, we now have a beautiful 4-month-old baby girl conceived with both donor egg and donor sperm. Though our situation is unique, in many ways our experiences may be familiar to anyone experiencing infertility and exploring the option of using a donor.

Like many people who consider donor conception, we struggled with difficult questions along the way. How comfortable did we feel using donor eggs? When all other options were off the table, how did we feel about moving to a double-donor embryo, knowing that our child would not have a genetic connection to either one of us? Would we bond with a baby who is not genetically related to us? How would our future child feel about the decisions we’re making? How open should we be with others about how she was conceived? Should we limit the people who know or should we be more public in an attempt to normalize donor conception? How would those outside of our inner circle react when they learn she was conceived with the help of donors? How would we manage the financial burden? We wanted to carefully consider each question before taking the next step.

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