I couldn’t believe that my hormone shots were scheduled to begin on our first wedding anniversary. Was it a good omen? A strange coincidence? Or just a serious inconvenience? It didn’t matter. We had no choice. The timing was very precise and we weren’t about to throw it off.
The doctor made it very clear from early on that our chances of conceiving naturally were extremely slim. In fact, I can still see that figure in my head at the bottom of my report. It clearly read <1%. I had less than a 1% chance of getting pregnant naturally. We had pretty much figured that out. We had tried for almost a year and I was 43 years old. Any viable eggs were gone. I wasn’t surprised at all.
I was surprised, however, at how easily I agreed to what my husband and doctor wanted me to do. As I got older and knew my chances were getting slimmer, I always thought I would adopt before using fertility treatment. I used to say, “Why create a baby in a lab when there are so many out there already who need loving parents?” My husband knew I felt this way, but when he said he wanted our baby to have our genes, I didn’t hesitate. Technically, his genes took the lead, but after carrying her for nine months and now seeing how much like me she is, I am thankful that I made that decision to use donor eggs.
The doctor explained the different levels of treatment we could use from the least invasive to extremely bold. From the somewhat expensive to the empty out your savings account treatments. They showed us the numbers, and the percentage of likelihood for pregnancy with each option. To the best of my recollection, none of them were higher than 50%; most were much lower. We had the option to go for the less expensive, less complicated, and less promising, but were advised to go for the gusto because I had no eggs. In addition, my husband’s sperm count was inconsistent, which added to our potential problems conceiving. So we did it! We started the process for IVF with donor egg, and we never looked back.
There were about 30 donors to choose from. We eliminated quite a few right away. The one that we chose stood out for lots of reasons. She was a dancer, painter, photographer, and a lover of the arts-like me. She was of German and Irish decent, like me. She had brown hair and eyes, like me. She had already donated eggs to two successful pregnancies and was in the middle of her third cycle; we would be her fourth and last.
One embryo took. The other did not. That was fine with me. There was a time that twins sounded appealing since I knew this was my first and last chance to have children, but the stress of the fertility process and the shots that seemed to continue endlessly made me feel just fine with one baby.
Emma Grace is now 3 years old and absolutely perfect! I love to tell my story because although there were times of struggle, pain, and tears, none of that compares to the faith I had in manifesting this beautiful child. I never doubted I would have my dream come true. It never dawned on me to think about the alternative. Emma was waiting to come into my life and I was ready.