As I approached my mid-30s, conversations with my friends became more and more about the risks and difficulties of having children after the age of 35. Suddenly something clicked and my age became real and unavoidable. The desire that had always been a bit lacking finally kicked in, and I knew that I wanted to have children of my own.
hinking back to that super-uncomfortable “birds and the bees” conversation you likely had when you were younger, it was very clear that it takes a sperm and an egg to create a baby. Yet when couples are trying to conceive unsuccessfully, often the “cause” is assumed to be due to the female partner. The assumption is magnified if the woman is considered to be in the category of advanced maternal age. If we all know that “it takes two to tango”, then why is there so much focus on woman’s nutrition and lifestyle when trying to conceive and not the man’s?
Although I have never been shy about sharing my experiences, I have largely kept my true feelings to myself. I’ve decided that for myself and for other women who are in my shoes, I need to break the silence of infertility. This is how I really feel…
Since her experience with recurrent pregnancy loss, Jaime feels that she has become a better doctor. She remembers that before her own experiences, she never quite understood the grief her patients felt when losing a pregnancy at such an early gestational age.
I’ve started doing things I don’t usually do, going places I haven’t been to, and being open to the idea that a causal conversation in the Starbucks line could be something more. When you open your eyes to different possibilities, everything in your life could shift. While waiting to find “the one”, using medical technology like egg freezing and being open to other fertility options is one way to take control of the choices you can make now for your future.