Finally, positive attention is being paid to the aging woman. Women in their 40s look better, feel better, have successful careers and seem to be able to do it all. In fact, it has been suggested that life for a woman really begins at age 40. For once, the “mature” woman is being celebrated rather than lamented. 40 is the new 30!
Infertility is an extremely taxing journey. Emotionally, physically, financially, whether undertaken with a loving, supportive spouse or partner or as a single-parent-by-choice, infertility can seem like an overwhelming trail with no endpoint in sight.
To love is to grieve. When a baby dies, all hope is lost…it feels unnatural to outlive your baby. You may experience excruciating pain, anger, guilt, and depression, but we must remember to move through those feelings. When we refuse to go through and release these emotions it manifests in our physical being. We carry the trauma in the tissues of our bodies and within our womb. The sooner we breathe into this pain, the sooner we emerge.
“How did you get into that?!” is usually the first question I get asked once someone finds out that I was a surrogate mother. This closely followed by, “…and you did it how many times??”
As I approached my mid-30s, conversations with my friends became more and more about the risks and difficulties of having children after the age of 35. Suddenly something clicked and my age became real and unavoidable. The desire that had always been a bit lacking finally kicked in, and I knew that I wanted to have children of my own.